The first time I noticed my hesitancy toward writing was late 2005, and the first of 2006. I received a brand new journal—a Moleskine. I felt so much pressure to give this journal the sort of writing I felt it deserved. Fill it with language that flows and ebbs to its own melody and harmony, that speaks truth over great and grave populations, that treats humor as though it were a piece of wood to be whittled into whatever shape a writer, this writer, fancies. I thought wrong. But it happened again later that year. Someone asked me to write a poem to perform. I wanted to perform, but could not bring myself to write anything. I helped someone shape her poem. I wrote snippets and bits, but I could not form a complete thought. Maybe I have drawn too many parallels between my writing habits and my psyche. However, I feel as though I am a writer who does not write, and I wish to change this. Thank you for this assignment, giving me the opportunity to force me to use all the knowledge I have gathered about writing but refuse to use because I am afraid of my own perfectionism and not meeting my own standards. Screw standards. Because work is work. And bad writing, once it’s out of the way, has gotten out. And I’m that much closer to the good stuff.
This semester: Write. Deliberately. I have one children's story written about a gifted girl. By the end of the semester, I will not be able to say that. I'll have more books about more subjects, probably all concentrating on gifted children. Also, I'll read about writing and doing so creatively from various authors. I will pull in all the resources I am able.
"If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot. There's no way around these two things that I'm aware off, no shortcut."-- Stephen King, On Writing
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